dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
