the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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