I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
