Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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