no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
