i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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