i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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