Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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