You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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