I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
