Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
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yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
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We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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