Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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