I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
