I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
