I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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