I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
