none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
