Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
