when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
