Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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