Define "chronic" masturbator.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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