Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
