Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
