I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
