I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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