A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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