We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
