never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
