I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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