It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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