Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
