OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.