That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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