I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize