We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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