I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone