this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
What a dumb baby whore.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
