508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
