Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
