Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
