I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Barsexuality is the new black.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
