i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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