I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
