Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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