We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize