i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
