He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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