Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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