Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
