My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
