the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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