So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
