it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
