Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
