the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Someone came in the potted fern
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
