mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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