You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
