yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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