is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
