This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
