I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
even my farts smell like vagina
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
