it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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